Friday, February 19, 2010

In the Meantime: What to Do While Waiting on God

by Carolyn MacInnes

Somewhere between the potluck and tales of Grandpa's childhood antics, your family reunion takes the customary turn for the worse. Stealthily wedging your chair behind the ficus tree was fruitless. They know you're there. They've just been waiting....

"So, you're out of school now," Aunt Beulah begins, passing you an unsolicited slice of rhubarb pie. "When are you getting married?"

Everyone's watching. You shrug and look pleadingly to mom for rescue.

"There were some dates with Chris, from church," Mom says.

"Well, there you go!" Aunt Pauline says, throwing her hands in the air like she's just cured cancer.

"It didn't work out," you say, too quickly, grimacing as you remember Chris's frequent racial slurs and obsession with mirrors.

"Kids today want everything to be perfect," Grandma sighs.

"Maybe you shouldn't be so picky, dear," Great Aunt Lois agrees. "You are pushing 25...."

Aunt Pauline pats your leg. "All we're saying," she whispers, "is, get yourself someone before you're old and it's too late."

Of course, if not for the gaping wound it's left, the conversation would be positively laughable. "Get" yourself someone? As in, "Get some milk while you're out" or "Hey, would you get me the TV remote?" Do they really think it's so easy? Do they think you planned it this way? Many of us grew up assuming we'd meet our spouse in school. Thus, we weren't mentally prepared for living in The Meantime (my definition: that period after classmates but before the soul mate).

I'll be honest — I panicked when I first found myself there. Despite the unprecedented opportunities that lay before me, all I felt was paralysis. From all sides, the world screamed, "human love provides the ultimate fulfillment." So how could I rest until it was mine?

That's when the voices began. Always keep your radar on, They warned. Mr. Perfect could come at any moment ... but blink and you'll miss him! They further cautioned against growing too comfortable in my singleness. What if you actually let yourself feel at ease? They said, What if your confidence scares him off? What if you start to enjoy being alone and pass up your destiny? Most terrifying: What if God sees your contentment and decides to "bless" you with the gift of lifelong singleness?

Oh yeah. I'd psyched myself out big time. I can just imagine God shaking His head. "Didn't I promise you good gifts? Didn't I say hope and a future? Streams in the desert? Why can't you believe there's purpose in this time of waiting?"

No one knows how long their Meantime will last. Could be a few months, or a lifetime. But one thing's always certain: If our priority is finding another person, we'll never be satisfied. The good news is that we can do more than fight for sanity while waiting on the Lord. Here are eight suggestions for flourishing in The Meantime.

Get to know God. Even the best spouses fail; God never will. Take time to talk — and listen — to Him concerning your future. Meditate on verses about His faithfulness. Discover that human standards of "worthiness" mean nothing to Him; His affection is unconditional. When we make this pivotal truth our own, we can develop a heavenly confidence that permeates all we do.

Build a community. Life is infinitely richer when we generate and nurture friendships. It's easy to develop tunnel vision and surround ourselves only with those who are "relationship material." Resist the urge. Dates come and go, but friends are God's arms, holding us up when romantic ventures let us down.

Do what you love. Have you always been an artist at heart? When you run, do you "feel His pleasure"? The more we develop our talents — particularly if we use our skills to bring glory to God — the more we experience enthusiasm and joy, whatever our circumstances. (There's also something extremely attractive about a person with a passion for life!)

Discover something new. Is there an instrument or language you want to learn? Have you dreamed of backpacking around Europe? This is your moment. When spouses and kids enter the picture, money will be allocated differently — so if you can afford to follow a dream, make it a priority. If money is tight, opportunities still abound. Increase your knowledge by researching online or at the library, or raise support to take a mission trip.

Help others. A poet once wrote, "I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God, but my God eluded me. I sought my brother, and I found all three." Volunteer at a nursing home or soup kitchen. Be a mentor. Rake someone's leaves. When we're feeling empty, we benefit immeasurably by serving folks in need. As their strength is renewed, our cups overflow.

Buy dishes. For nearly a decade, I kept a hope chest full of brand new household items while I ate off of flimsy silverware and cheap, chipped dishes. I was sitting on a gold mine, but chose to live in poverty. When I finally realized how misplaced my hope really was, I dug out some of those utensils and bought myself a set of funky dishes. It sounds crazy, but it freed me! Of course, this principle extends far beyond kitchen gadgets. It's not an exhortation to abandon our dreams — simply a reminder to live in the present.

Be reasonable. My friend Danny didn't date much. Plenty of girls were interested, but he could never find what he was looking for. You know, a rich supermodel whose only dream in life was to serve him? There was no room for distinctiveness; everyone who didn't fit his mental picture was flawed. It behooves us to ask ourselves, "Am I looking for someone perfect, or for someone who — eccentricities and all — is good for me?"

But don't compromise. Funny what loneliness can do. People with whom we have nothing in common — and sometimes hardly like — are suddenly attractive. We can even convince ourselves it's unreasonable for God to make us wait for physical pleasure. But anytime we push ahead of Him, either by trying to force a dubious relationship or misplacing our moral compass, we're like the Prodigal, sifting through slop when we could revel in riches down the road.

Somewhere in The Meantime, God changed my theme verse from "How long, oh Lord?" to "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland" (Isaiah 43:19). And I literally went to the desert of West Texas to find that "new thing." I attended graduate school to study what I loved, mentored kids, traveled overseas, and overall, developed a fresh vision of God's plan for my life.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the cute co-ed the Lord kept placing in my path. But before all that, God was showing me that even if no one ever met me at the end of a church aisle, I was of immeasurable value, and He had big plans for me. No formula here for finding a perfect mate — just a reminder that, as Helen Keller said, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."

Each of us can choose how we spend our days — but God's wish for us is clear: "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly" (John 10:10).

27 comments:

  1. One can spend time by loving god, giving food to children. There are many ways to overcome loneliness. Better to find a good way to come out of loneliness.

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  2. its very Interesting article,i like this article most because in this article the feelings are coming out when we read out . nice posting,keep it up

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  3. nice informative post. good job done. thanks for sharing.

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  4. I was searching for this type of article even your post helped me with providing some more information which even saved some of my time for coming across your blog really thanks for the post.

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  5. It is true that sometimes we can be really frustrated to fall in love. I guess love takes time. I agree with the article that we can find something to do while waiting for the cupid to strike the arrows on us and our potential soul-mates. At meantime, I believe we should cherish our single-hood lives.

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  6. while waiting on God we must do the right things. As we still life, God give us a chance for enjoying this world. But we enjoying this world doesn't mean we do the bad things. So do the right things.

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  7. Here is a very successful blog, organized, clean and on a subject not very manageable. In this article, meet some very useful tips such as do what you love, help others and be reasonable. But not only these 3, and the rest of the advice is as successful but they have warned me first. Good luck!

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  8. i really enjoy your article carrolyn this is realy a good article

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  9. This Of The Best Article I Have ever Read Before, You Have Written Excellent Article About God, I always Belive In God And The God Is Only One Who Help You Every Step Of Our Life in Good day & bad days always,

    God Always Gives Late Answers For Problem But He Gives And He Will Never forgot You Because We Are God Kids,

    Your Article Is Nice For Self Helping Thanks For Posting Nice Article Keep Posting More.

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  10. Nice article. I am actually having a hard time in life right now, and this article kinda gave me strength and...an answer.

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  11. I’ve just read this article. I was searching for this type of article even your post helped me with providing some more information ,which even saved some of my time for comming across your blog really thanks for the post. I hope I’ll be able to use these tips in the future.Thanks for this information.

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  12. first of all it's a usful article ;we must know our God first then do any other thing i said to all you must do what you love .

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  13. "I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God, but my God eluded me. I sought my brother, and I found all three."

    that's the fact. That's the reality. A tru;y realistic one.

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  14. Nice article it has been really a long time since I ve read such a faith related article I mostly agree that getting to know god is the best way to get faith again and staying on the right way on this short ended life .. Best Regards !!

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  15. Living with a positive thinking and loving as much as possible surely are the right things to do.

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  16. Eight great advice but I most agree with the second suggestion. Community building is important because we are we are people who can not live alone

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  17. What the author said was perfectly correct Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. I agreee with this. Even most of the times I think in the same way. really Excellent articles, lot got things shared in this article. Thank you.

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  18. If need to mention anythin about the post, I shoul say that this is a great post as i have been searching this such topic for long time, Well done brother.. keep it up......

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  19. i m waiting godwilling the pardise because i m musluman and it's my objectif in my life...it's my opinion and i hope that you will respect it..thank you again

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  20. your article is very interesting. it was so timely to what am into right now. God really reveals in so many mysterious ways. thank you so much for the reminder.

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  21. your article is very interesting. it is very timely to what am into right now. God always reveals in so many mysterious ways. thank you so much for the reminder.

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  22. I believe we should cherish our single-hood lives. this Of The Best Article I Have ever Read Before One can spend time by loving god, giving food to children. There are many ways to overcome loneliness. Better to find a good way to come out of loneliness. Good luck!

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  23. In this article everybody get some very useful tips such as do what you love, help others and be reasonable. this Article Is nice for Self helping.also this article has a good explanation of world of love.and also the article contains a lot of information about the world of love. thanks for the share.

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  24. What the author said was perfectly correct Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. I agreee with this. Even most of the times I think in the same way. really Excellent articles, lot got things shared in this article. Thank you.

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  25. Spending time on God is really necessary for the well being of a human . But there are many ways to at least go near our ambition like helping others, building a community, discovering something new and sharing happiness, but as you said one must never compromise. Marriage should not be forced on a man's head.

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  26. Nice job. A very informative article i must say. Thanks for sharing all this information with us

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  27. Many good things we can do while waiting on God. We should fulfill our lives with meaningful thing for people we love or people surround us.

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